50 Grinch Quotes You Can Steal This Christmas

Christmas is right around the corner. So, in honor of one of its most hilarious, most curmudgeonly, and most green icons, here are 50 quotes from The Grinch that are super duper relatable.

The quotes are from the 2000 How The Grinch Stole Christmas, which features direct quotes from the Dr. Seuss classic. The movie stars Jim Carrey, and the lines listed below are delivered by the Narrator, Cindy Lou Who, Lou Lou Who (her dad), The Mayor of Whoville, Mayor Augustus May Who, and, of course, The Grinch himself.

1. “Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

—The Narrator

2. “Am I just eating because I’m bored?”

—The Grinch

3. “No one should be alone on Christmas.”

—Cindy Lou

4. “This can’t happen. It shouldn’t, it couldn’t, it mustn’t, it wouldn’t!”

—The Grinch

5. “Oh, no. I’m speaking in rhyme.”

—The Grinch

6. “I guess I could use a little social interaction.”

—The Grinch

7. “The Grinch hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season. Now, please, don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be that his head wasn’t screwed on just right, or it could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that his heart was two sizes too small.”

—The Narrator

8. “Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double hate. Loathe entirely.”

—The Grinch

9. “Those yuletide-loving, sickly-sweet, nog-sucking cheer mongers! I really don’t like ’em. No, I don’t.”

*Chomps onion.*

—The Grinch

10. “Stupid, ugly, out of date. If I can’t find something nice to wear, I’m not going.”

“That’s it, I’m not going.”

—The Grinch

11. “No matter how different a Who may appear…he will always be welcomed with holiday cheer.”

—Cindy Lou

12. “Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn’t allow it.”

“4:00: Wallow in self-pity.

4:30: Stare into the abyss.

5:00: Solve world hunger. Tell no one.

5:30: Jazzercise.

6:30: Dinner with me. I can’t cancel that again.

7:30: Wrestle with my self-loathing.

I’m booked!

Of course, if I bumped the loathing to 9:00, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling, and slip slowly into madness.”

—The Grinch

13. “Doesn’t this seem superfluous?”

—Cindy Lou

14. “Gaze into the face of fear.”

—The Grinch

15. “Kids today. So desensitized by movies and television.”

—The Grinch

16. “I won? That means there were losers. A town full of losers! I like it.”

—The Grinch

17. “Was anyone emotionally shattered?”

—The Grinch

18. “It’s because I’m green, isn’t it?”

—The Grinch

19. “But what if it’s a cruel prank? What if it’s a cash bar?”

—The Grinch

20. “I don’t know if it’s that adorable twinkle in your eye or that nonconformist streak that reminds me of a younger, less hairy me. But you’ve convinced me.”

—The Grinch

21. “I’m an idiot!”

—The Grinch

“You’re an idiot!”

—The Grinch’s echo

22. “Help me! I’m feeling!”

—The Grinch

23. “Fetch me my sedative! Now, to take care of those pesky memories.”

—The Grinch

24. “Just keep it kind of loosey-goosey.”

—The Grinch

25. “Hey, honey, our baby is here! He looks just like your boss.”

—A Who from Whoville

26. “If you agree to be my wife, along with a lifetime supply of happiness, you’ll also receive this…it’s a new car! Generously provided by the taxpayers of Whoville!”

—Mayor Augustus May Who

27. “Denial is to be expected in the face of pure evil.”

—The Grinch

28. “The impudence! The audacity! The unmitigated gall!”

—The Grinch

29. “Bleeding hearts of the world, unite!”

—The Grinch

30. “What’s that stench? It’s fantastic!”

—The Grinch

31. “One man’s toxic sludge is another man’s potpourri.”

—The Grinch

32. “[Santa] should be finishing up anytime now. Talk about a recluse. He only comes out once a year, and he never catches any flak for it! Probably lives up there to avoid the taxes.”

—The Grinch

33. “Oh, the noise, noise, noise, noise!”

—The Grinch

34. “Doubt? Another unmistakable sign of the heebie-jeebies!”

—The Grinch

35. “The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea.”

―The Narrator

36. “You reject your own nose because it represents the glitter of commercialism!”

—The Grinch

37. “You want to know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me in your garbage. Do you see what I’m saying? In your garbage! I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump!”

—The Grinch

38. “You’re as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel.”

—The Narrator 

39. “I wouldn’t touch you with a 39-and-a-half-foot pole.”

—The Narrator 

40. “You have termites in your smile. You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile.”

—The Narrator 

41. “Outta the way! I have no insurance.”

—The Grinch

42. “You can’t hurt Christmas, Mr. Mayor, because it isn’t about the gifts or the contests or the fancy lights…I don’t need anything more for Christmas than this right here, my family.”

—Lou Lou

43. “I’m leaking!”

—The Grinch (when describing crying)

44. “He puzzled and puzzled ’til his puzzler was sore.”

—The Narrator 

45. “Now you listen to me, young lady! Even if we’re horribly mangled, there’ll be no sad faces on Christmas.”

—The Grinch

46. “Who wants the gizzard? Too late! That’ll be mine.”

—The Grinch

47. “The sun is bright, and the powder’s bitching!”

—The Grinch

48. “I’m all toasty inside.”

—The Grinch

49. “What happened then, well in Whoville they say, that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day.”

—The Narrator

50. “Cheer up, dude. It’s Christmas.”

—The Grinch

So, there you have it! 50 quotable lines from How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Which was your favorite? Are there any other standouts I missed?

Let me know in the comments!