62 Thoughts I (A Swiftie) Had While Watching The New Taylor Swift And Travis Kelce-Inspired Rom-Com
Hello, Internet; my name is Angelica, and if there’s anything to know about me, it’s that I’m a longtime Swiftie who loves a good (and bad!) rom-com. Honestly, the cheesier and cringier*, the better. So, obviously, I decided to be so, so brave and watched the supposedly Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce-inspired Lifetime movie, “Christmas in the Spotlight,” which dropped this week, so you don’t have to. For science, obviously!
Here are the honest, unfiltered thoughts I had while watching it:
1. It’s a BOLD choice to start off the movie with one of the Taylor-inspired character’s songs and for it to be this…not good.
2. Obsessed with her name being Bowyn. It’s giving that one baby name meme, where all the names are like “Lakynn,” “Nayvie,” “Madylynn.”
Think you’re Blondie’s biggest fan? Put your ~reputation~ to the test.
3. Oh, we’re making jokes about her writing about being single! Is this gonna be Ginny and Georgia 2.0???
Hey Ginny & Georgia, 2010 called and it wants its lazy, deeply sexist joke back. How about we stop degrading hard working women by defining this horse shit as FuNnY. Also, @netflix after Miss Americana this outfit doesn’t look cute on you 💔 Happy Women’s History Month I guess pic.twitter.com/2X0jEOXIWp
— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) March 1, 2021
4. NOT “MOVIE TRAVIS” HAVING THE #13 JERSEY LMAO.
5. So movie-Travis (aka Drew, also is also called Gonzo…yes like the Muppet, though they do not ever mention it) plays on the same team as his brother, Rob (who is loosely inspired by Jason Kelce).
6. Listen, I am not a hater and I will give this movie credit where credit is due. The actor playing Drew absolutely studied the heck out of how Travis speaks and it’s actually not an awful impression. I, however, cannot say the same about the person playing his brother.
7. I think this man is their Patrick Mahomes, who is attempting a locker room pep talk.
8. Alright, update: Her name is Bowyn, they call her Bow, and her fans are the arrows??? Tsk tsk missed opportunity to be the archers. Also, I think they’re calling her die-hard fans the “arrowheads,” which I’m assuming is a reference to the Chief’s IRL stadium, Arrowhead.
9. Once again, the music is bad.
10. Thus far, the most likable character is Nicole, who is the movie version of Jason Kelce’s wife, Kylie. She did not come to play.
11. OK, lore update: so apparently, Bowyn got famous from reality TV and then became a musical sensation? Absolutely tracks, she’s giving much more Vanderpump Rules than Taylor Swift.
12. They’re doing the Hallmark-esque rom-com thing where they give the male love interest a child sidekick and she just told this man, “You’re not a goof, you just make bad choices.” READ HIM GIRL!
13. He surprised his niece with tickets to Bowyn’s concert (cough cough, the Eras Tour). My real question here is…what were their surprise songs???
14. This movie is a great example of why making a pop star your protagonist is such a bad idea. Like, you are actively trying to convince me your girlie is so talented and so famous, but the music is almost never good! And they do not have the IT-factor on stage! I want to like her, but I cannot take her seriously, and they aren’t leaning into things hard enough for it to be funny or camp! Give me bops or give me drama!
15. Gonzo snuck his niece backstage to meet Bowyn, and it was a total missed opportunity to give the Swifties their “I wanted to give Taylor Swift [a friendship bracelet] with my number on it” Tayvis moment! That’s pure rom-com material!
ICYMI, Travis mentioned this in an episode of “New Heights” before they were publicly together.
16. The thing for me with Bowyn is that the writers can’t decide whether or not she’s supposed to be Taylor Swift. She doesn’t give Taylor AT ALL personality or looks-wise, but they keep referencing her like she is, then give her backstory that is very much the opposite of that.
It’s kind of a mindfuck of a viewing experience to be like…OK…that’s NOT Taylor at all…but now you want me to think she is…but now you don’t? HELP.
17. Take a shot every time they make a Swiftie reference, part 1:
18. HERE WE GO AGAIN, SHOT!
19. *DJ KHALED VOICE* ANOTHER ONE!
20. I have tried, but I cannot get past the fact that the actress who plays Bowyn is a yassified Brittany Mahomes. It’s, like, actually distracting me.
21. SHOT! SHOT! SHOT! SHOT! for a “You’re On Your Own, Kid” reference! Except this time, she means it literally because Bowyn is revealing that her father died when she was younger and she was raised by a single mom.
22. We’ve officially unlocked the “I promise not to fall in love with you” trope.
23. The irony of this movie having a line about her not wanting to go public with the relationship because “once the world knows, they think they own it,” as though they are not profiting off a movie very heavily inspired by a celebrity’s life.
24. Bowyn and Gonzo (sorry I cannot take those names seriously asdkjfh) keep trying to convince us that they are so into each other but their chemistry is just so…off? Like every conversation I’ve seen is just a vehicle for them to drop lore about each other and that’s it.
25. I’m obsessed with how into puzzles she is. She is literally over-explaining the appropriate way to do a puzzle to this man.
It’s giving “women in male-dominated fields!”
26. Not the sexily running a puzzle piece up her arm…not that…please…I am cringing so hard my soul is leaving my body.
27. The last puzzle piece is missing and she says that means it’s a tie. I did not know you could win making a puzzle??
28. The movie version of Patrick Mahomes has a wife named Cassandra…SHOT!
29. These two are on their literal second date and about to break up because he’s so distraught he can’t tell his friends or family (besides his mom, who he already told) about them seeing each other. Is that not normal?? I feel like it’s pretty average to not tell everyone you know about someone you’ve gone out with literally once?? Straight people please weigh in, I am unfamiliar with your culture.
30. Props to this movie for not doing the dumb, misogynistic “she only writes about breakups or romance” thing because I was worried they would for a minute, but they’re actively making fun of it (as we should all be doing, TBH! It’s so tired!).
31. We’ve made it to the game, y’all.
32. Holding space here for the Travis archer pose:
33. Asking to give a toast at the Thanksgiving dinner of your not-boyfriend you’ve gone on two dates with is WILD.
34. “I want more…more real-life…more us.” Then mayhaps y’all go on a third date, bestie.
35. “The Alchemy between these two was off the charts.” SHOT!
36. Not the joking about having to explain football to her fans lmao…I’ve been called out.
37. We are boldly addressing the “they’re fake dating so she can sell albums to NFL fans” allegations.
38. “You’re the best thing at this party.” SHOT!
39. The thing that grinds my gears here is how much more they flesh out Gonzo than Bowyn. He’s allowed to be charming and funny, but she really has no personality aside from being famous. I can tell they’re trying to get female viewers to buy what Gonzo is selling here, but it’s a total missed opportunity to make your female protagonist so flat and forgettable when a good chunk of viewers are likely Swifties here to see a Taylor-inspired rom-com (rather than the Travis-inspired movie this really is).
Like, Taylor Swift is known for writing about the complexities of girlhood and they’re not giving us anything to work with here!
40. This movie keeps forgetting Gonzo is also famous. He is struggling as her +1 at a gala of some sort but like…athletes go to these kinda events too, no?
41. Leaving during the middle of an event that is technically your third date is WILD.
42. Alright, we have the return of her vain, influencer ex-boyfriend who she keeps making 1989 references about, so welcome to the plot, knockoff Harry Styles!*
43. “He’s a better man than you in every way…” is not not a common phrase but for the sake of this game, I’m calling it a “Better Man” reference…so…SHOT!
44. “Thanks for all the hit-singles, but this album is over.” Okay, diva!
45. She is now suddenly calling him her boyfriend, but they also keep talking about it being super casual. What is HAPPENING here? He’s talking about switching teams and moving to LA (in part) for her?? I cannot keep track of this relationship timeline for my life.
46. This baking scene may perhaps be one of the most realistic parts of the whole movie, actually.
47. When you and your brother are such besties he’ll barge in on your date but you don’t tell him you signed to another team and he finds out through the press instead. <3
48. “I’m so tired of following everyone else’s game plan for my life” did actually make me snort.
49. Alright, this movie is like 75% over and we’ve finally reached a plot twist, which is *SPOILER ALERT* that Bow’s ex was recording the conversation they had at the gala and leaked part of it that made her sound like she was only dating Gonzo for access to the NFL and album sales. Kim and Kanye, is that you?
50. Gonzo is now upset he is switching teams for a girl who is using him, which is why we do not make five-year-contract level decisions for people we’ve been on less than a handful of dates with!
51. Oh, I am being reminded again that the music in this movie is so, so bad.
52. We only made it about two minutes into this movie with conflict before it was very conveniently resolved by her ex-boyfriend’s assistant quitting and releasing the full tape that clears her name. Like, there was not even time to feel any sadness over this happening because it was resolved so fast. Personally, I think the key to a good romance is letting them suffer a little bit! So it’s worth it when the have *the moment*!
53. There’s 14 minutes left in this movie and I feel like we’ve only now found some semblance of a plot here.
54. Friendship bracelets…SHOT!
55. I feel like this movie needs to decide if it’s Tayvis fanfiction or it’s own thing because it’s trying to do both and it’s failing really badly. I feel like this could exist as just a generic “pop star and her football BF” story, but it’s leaning too heavily on Taylor, Travis, and Swiftie references to feel unattached. That being said, it’s also not quite going all-in on being unabashed fanfiction like The Idea of You did re: Harry Styles.
56. She saw him wearing the bracelet at the game and assumed it meant they were back together…me when I’m delusional.
Also plot update: he signed back with his original team and is not moving to LA! We all cheered!
