Breaking His Silence On Their Divorce, Ben Affleck Addressed Theories About The “Root Causes” Of His Split From Jennifer Lopez — And What He Said Is Super Important
“You don’t always have the same attitude towards these things…You’ve got to own what you knew going into any relationship.”
The 86-minute movie doc gave fans an inside look at Jennifer’s life. And while the focus was meant to be on her creative work, her and Ben’s relationship wound up being a huge talking point — particularly, their conflicting approaches to fame.
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While Jennifer was more than happy to bring the people and cameras into their home, she explicitly states in the doc that Ben wasn’t “comfortable” and that he’d gone along with it purely to support her creativity. Similarly, Ben said in a confessional that he and J.Lo were “two people with different kinds of approaches trying to learn to compromise.” “Things that are private, I’d always felt, are sacred and special because, in part, they’re private,” he said. “So this was something of an adjustment for me.”
When the doc came out in February 2024, the whole Ben thing certainly raised eyebrows. So, when split speculation started bubbling up in May, people quickly assumed that their conflicting attitudes toward fame must have caused the breakup. And as time went on, anonymous reports about the breakup seemed to corroborate that narrative.
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“She likes to open her heart to her fans and to the world. He is more introspective and private. This has been difficult day-to-day,” a source told People on May 22. And after J.Lo officially filed for divorce in July, another insider told Entertainment Tonight that her “public” approach to the relationship had driven “a wedge between them.”
Now, in a new GQ cover interview in which he talks about the divorce for the first time, Ben was asked directly about the narrative surrounding his involvement in J.Lo’s documentary film, prompting him to fully explain his decision to be a part of it — and how it illuminated their differences.
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“Part of it was, ‘OK, if I’m going to participate in this, I want to try to do it in an honest way and in a way that’s interesting.’ Because I thought it was an interesting examination,” he began, admitting that Jennifer was among those to have mistakenly assumed he’s “handled celebrity more adeptly and more adroitly” than he actually has.
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“My temperament is to be a little bit more reserved and private than hers,” he said, talking explicitly about how differently he and J.Lo felt about publicizing their private lives. “As happens in relationships, you don’t always have the same attitude towards these things. And so I thought, Oh, this is interesting because how do you reconcile that? Because exactly what you said is true. I love and support this person. I believe in them. They’re great. I want people to see that. And I think the thing that I said in that documentary or the piece that they used was where I said, You don’t marry a ship’s captain and then say, ‘Well, I don’t like going out in the water.’”
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When Ben and J.Lo were engaged in the 2000s, their relationship ended due to the scrutiny that came with such a public relationship. And so, when talking about their rekindling, Ben made it clear that he was fully aware of Jennifer’s approach to fame — and that, despite reports to the contrary, it wasn’t actually what ruined their marriage. “You’ve got to own what you knew going into any relationship. And I think it’s important to say that wasn’t the cause of some major fracture,” he said, calling out the narratives that spawned from the film. “It’s not like you can watch that documentary and go, ‘Oh, now I understand the issues that these two had.’”
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In a different part of the interview, which was conducted a few days later, Ben reflected on his comments about the documentary and attempted to ensure his “intentions and beliefs” were properly communicated. “I hope I was clear that really this is somebody I have a lot of respect for. And I get wanting to divine or explore the kind of differences in perspective that we have in terms of how a person feels comfortable approaching the line between public and private life. But I really hope that whatever you use doesn’t suggest that I have any negativity or judgment or anything regarding that,” he said.
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Making it clear that he has “nothing but respect” for Jennifer, he addressed people wanting to “identify root causes” of the split, saying instead that “the truth is much more quotidian than probably people would believe or would be interesting.” “There’s no scandal, no soap opera, no intrigue… There is no: ‘This is what happened,’” he emphasized. “It’s just a story about people trying to figure out their lives and relationships in ways that we all sort of normally do.”
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Ben concluded: “There is no ‘So-and-so did this’ or ‘This was the big event.’ It’s really, it sounds more like a couple’s therapy session, which — you would tune out of someone else’s couple’s therapy after a while. For one thing, you start going, ‘OK, clearly this person has got these issues. Clearly they have these issues.’ And the reason I don’t want to share that is just sort of embarrassing. It feels vulnerable.”
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