If You Feel Personally Offended By Chappell Roan’s Comments About Parenthood, You Might Need To Ask Yourself Why
It’s giving “protests too much.”
In case you missed it, Chappell Roan was on Call Her Daddy last week, and something that she said during the interview has really triggered parents.
For context, the 27-year-old star shot to global fame last year, and during the podcast appearance, she reflected on how different her life is in comparison to the friends that she grew up with who still live in her home state of Missouri.
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While Chappell is winning Grammys and performing in front of thousands of people, she revealed that most of her peers have kids now — with some having children as old as 5, meaning they would have become parents just a couple of years after leaving school. Speaking candidly, Chappell admitted that seeing her friends with their kids has made her question whether or not she wants to be a mom someday because the parents she knows personally don’t particularly enjoy it.
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When the host, Alex Cooper, asked Chappell if she is “still close with friends from back home,” the star replied: “Yeah, I am. They’re really awesome — we have such different lives… A lot of them are married with children, and they have their own houses, and to me… Like, I don’t know when that’s going to happen for me. I don’t know when that’s realistic, if ever.”
“Do you want that?” Alex asked, to which Chappell said that she didn’t know. Discussing parenthood specifically, Chappell said: “All of my friends who have kids are in hell. I actually don’t know anyone who’s happy and has children at this age… I have, like, a one year old, three year old, four and under, five and under… I’ve literally not met anyone who’s happy, anyone who has light in their eyes, who has slept.”
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The star added that she is the oldest of four and her mom had her at 22, commenting that she didn’t know how she managed.
The interview continued for almost another hour, but many were hung up on Chappell’s comments about parenthood, and when this clip from the interview made its way over to social media, all hell broke loose.
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“I am butt-hurt and offended at Chappell Roan’s comment about she has never met a mother who is happy in her age group because I’m in her age group, and I am a mother, and I am so happy,” one mom ranted in a popular TikTok. “It’s all a bit of a sting, I’m not gonna lie, and lowkey, it’s misogynistic as well. It really devalues the role of motherhood.”
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“That clip actually makes me emotional to listen to its so frustrating,” another mom echoed in a different video. “So, hi, if you’ve never seen one, here she is: A young mom of three children that didn’t get any sleep last night that’s happy, life in her eyes, and joy in her heart.”
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Other TikTokers started a trend sharing highlight reels of wholesome time with their children while sarcastically referring to it as “hell.”
But there are a couple of major problems with this seriously defensive response — especially the ones accusing Chappell of waging war on mothers specifically. First of all, she didn’t actually single out moms in her quotes; she just said all of her friends who have kids, which would presumably include parents of all genders.
Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, Chappell made it incredibly clear that she was only speaking about the experience of people she knows in real life, so it is pretty alarming that this many parents have taken her quotes as an attack on them and their experiences.
As many have pointed out in the comments of these viral videos, the personal offense that some have taken to a total stranger saying their own friends don’t enjoy parenthood feels like people are actually trying to convince themselves that they are happy and validate their own decision to have children.
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“the ones who got triggered are the ones pretending they’re happy,” one popular comment reads.
Somebody else asked: “if it doesn’t apply to these moms then why are they getting so upset, getting on here and trying to ‘prove’ how happy they are.”
“she isn’t talking about YOUR experience though? if it doesn’t apply to you then cool!” one more wrote in the comments of another TikTok.
And somebody else commented: “Ok. Happy mom here. Nothing she said bothers me. It doesn’t apply to me. And she’s allowed to have an opinion. I don’t understand the rage.”
Over on X, a user pointed out: “Chappell Roan said all of her friends that have kids at 27 are in hell. That’s HER EXPERIENCE. It wasn’t some universal statement. Society is way more judgmental towards women that decide NOT to have kids than it is to mothers.”
And an incredibly popular TikTok argues that people are angry at Chappell because she “exposed the greatest lie ever told,” adding in the caption: “If you’re angry at people for choosing a child free life, you need to do a bit of soul searching and figure out where you went wrong. Society lies to women all the time, and every time one of us exposes that lie to the light of day, the ones who fell for it start to kick out in an effort to convince themselves and others that the status quo must continue. It’s okay for women to decide not to have kids, it’s okay for them to talk about it and it’s okay for you to just let people live their lives.”
@tailor_and_paws @chappell roan doesn’t need to hold your hand when she says things. If you’re angry at people for choosing a child free life, you need to do a bit of soul searching and figure out where you went wrong. Society lies to women all the time, and every time one of us exposes that lie to the light of day, the ones who fell for it start to kick out in an effort to convince themselves and others that the status quo must continue. It’s okay for women to decide not to have kids, it’s okay for them to talk about it and it’s okay for you to just let people live their lives. #chappellroan #childfree #womensrights #parenting
TikTok @tailor_and_paw / Via tiktok.com
After all, it’s worth noting that we undeniably live in a world where having children is not just normalized; it is an active expectation that the majority of people have for themselves and others as they get older — despite it being the single most life-changing thing that any person can do. As a result, many blindly enter parenthood without comprehending just how difficult and grueling it can be.
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It isn’t just refreshing, it is necessary to start having more open conversations about the realities of being a parent, especially for younger people who feel pressure to have kids in their early 20s — before they’ve even got to know themselves as an independent adult, let alone carved a fulfilling life for themselves after leaving full-time education.
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